Obama has proposed a “Manliness Tax“. Because it has been shown that stronger men have un-fair advantages over those that are less Manly.
President Obama stated, “It is unfair that some of the population has advantages that others do not. Because men that are more manly have un-fair advantages over the less manly in the population, we need to CHANGE the current way of thinking, and level the playing field for all males.” President Obama continues, “This un-fair advantage needs to be eliminated to help those that are less manly feel good about themselves and allow them to compete in a more manly manner. This plan will help secure our financial future, by generating revenue from the next generation of manly males.”
Because a Manly man has advantages over a non-manly man. Here are some of the un-fair advantages that this tax eliminates or helps eliminate to even the playing field.
- A man with rippling muscles has an easier time attracting a mate.
- Everyone knows that first impressions are everything, so the more manly man has an easier time finding employment.
- Manly men have less health issues, so they are able to enjoy more working days than the sickly non-manly man.
- Manly men have more endurance, allowing them to work extra hours, taking over-time pay away from the less ripped.
- Manly men also enjoy activities that the less-manly can’t enjoy (Mountain climbing, Ironman competitions, etc.)
- Manly men can grow facial hair at a faster and denser rate than non-manly men. This gives the the advantage of being able to withstand lower temperatures without facial discomfort.
Therefore, the Obama administration proposes that if any of the following are true, you will be required by law to pay the Manliness Tax.
- If your biceps are larger than the average size. A national database will be setup to track these type of statistics.
- If your Mass Body Index is below the national average.
- If you can bench press more than the average person your age.
- If you can run the 100 Meters faster than the average person.
- If you can grow facial hair that is denser than the average man.
The President will be using the The Presidential Fitness program to help make sure that the next generation of Men will meet one of the 4 requirements. This is estimate to generate 500 billion annually in tax revenue by 2020.
The tax is a progressive tax. The more manly you are, the higher the tax. The less manly will also be able to apply for a income tax credit. This credit is then expected to be used to buy gym memberships, diet plans, etc.
It is projected that this tax credit will eventually make someone more manly, therefore putting them into the manliness category in later years. This will then in turn increase the tax revenue in future years.
Obama also stated, “This tax is not to penalize those who are manly. The goal of this tax is to eventually make everyone manly. It will CHANGE the less manly into manly men. Eventually this tax will be applied to all males in the US. Over the next 10 years, non-manly men will be a thing of the past. This is CHANGE we can all believe in.”
Note: This a work of satire, or fiction to illistrate a point.