How many times have you lied to protect someone? I am not taking about lying to keep your friend out of jail, but the little white lies that we say to keep people as friends, family, and co-workers. The most common lie you will tell is when someone asks you, “How was your weekend?” Even if your weekend SUCKED, you will respond with a, “It was good”, or “I enjoyed my weekend”, or the even more popular, “It was not long enough”. How many times have you lied to answer questions about what people are wearing, if you like something someone cooked for you, or if you like the project they just finished? Everyone jokes about the questions, “Does this dress make me look fat?” That may be an extreme example, but think about it. How often have you lied to protect someone?
The funny thing is that the people that are the most honest, and will honestly tell you the truth to questions like this, end up being the society outcasts. Because they speak their mind, and tell the truth. How does society reward someone who always tells the truth? There are times to keep comments to yourself. I am not talking about off hand comments, but answers to questions that people ask you. How does society reward those that give an honest answer to the questions that are asked to them regularly?
I now ask another question. What happens when someone always has their social filter on, and is always telling people what they want to hear, or lying constantly to protect people? How does society reward them? We wonder why everyone thinks that politicians lie. Think about it. The only way someone is elected into office is by protecting the feelings of everyone in their communities. My personal belief is that they start lying to protect people, and then they don’t know when to stop lying. Society has made politicians the way they are. Because society expects clean, unhurtful answers to the questions they ask people. Society has created a social filter to eliminate bad feelings between people.
I would like an answer to this question. When is a lie to protect someone a good thing, and when is it a bad thing? Telling lies at times will re-enforce behavior that does not help society, or that will even hurt the individual more than telling the truth. But then at times telling lies will help society and the individual. Can you have it both ways? Is lying ever good? I remember reading somewhere (not is school, because it is now against the law) a saying, “Thou salt not lie.” Do you think that means, tell the truth, unless it will hurt someones feelings, and then it is OK to lie to protect them? I am sorry, some people do look fat some outfits. Some people can’t sing, draw, or paint. Some behavior is bad, and should not be lied about when someone is participating in it. If you don’t want someone to tell you the truth, then don’t ask the question. If you really don’t want to know how someones weekend was, and you don’t want them to explain the fight they had with a spouse, then don’t ask the question.
Just my two cents… (And I know some of you don’t care about my two cents, but I feel that my two cents is worth adding.)
And I am asking the question: What do you think of this post? And I don’t want the social filter answer, I want the real answer. That is one of the problems I see in America right now. Everyone is willing to ask the questions, but they only want to hear the answer that PROTECTS them, or is the one they want to hear. I am sorry, but sometimes the behaviors and wants of the minority go unchecked, and unstopped because the majority does not want to hurt someones feelings, and wants to PROTECT them by telling lies.
So again, I asks, When is it OK to Lie?