Political

Brain Transplant

This was an email that was sent to me.  I thought it was pretty FUNNY, so I am posting it here.

Standard pricing procedure

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where a family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.

‘I’m afraid I’m the bearer of bad news,’ he said as he surveyed the worried faces. ‘The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant.  It’s an experimental procedure, very risky, but it is the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you …

New Sweeping Legislation – The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA)

WASHINGTON, DC (AP) – Congress approved sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA), signed into law by President Barack Obama shortly after its passage, is being hailed as a major victory by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

“Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,” said Obama, a longtime AWNA supporter.

“This is why many of them voted for me. We can no longer stand by and allow …

Are you stimulated yet?

In honor of the 44th President of the United States , Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream has introduced a new flavor: “ Barocky Road .”

Barocky Road is a blend of half vanilla, half chocolate, and surrounded by nuts and flakes.

The vanilla portion of the mix is not openly advertised and usually denied as an ingredient.

The nuts and flakes are all very bitter and hard to swallow.

The cost is $100.00 per scoop, two scoop minimum.

When purchased it will be presented to you in a large, beautiful cone.

The ice cream will then be taken away from you and …

Obama – Auto Industry

Because of the recent polls that show the Democrates and the Obama Administration loosing ground, they are now going to re-name the cars that are being manufactured by the State Owned car companies.  Here are some of the names that they have been playing with.…

Ex-Patriot
Pelosi
Marxist
The Liberal
Hugo
Commonwealth

NFL or NBA

In the past year!!!

36 have been accused of spousal abuse

7 have been arrested for fraud

19 have been accused of writing bad checks

117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
 
3 have done time for assault

71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
 
14 have been arrested on drug-related charges

8 have been arrested for shoplifting

21 currently are defendants in lawsuits,

And,

84 have been arrested for drunk driving

Can you guess which organization this is?  NBA or NFL?
 
The correct answer is:
 

Neither,it’s the
United States Congress!

The same …

Bush, Elizabeth, Vladimir

George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.

Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he was finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.

Next Queen Elizabeth call England and talks for 30 minutes. When she was finished the devil informs her that cost is 6 million dollars, so Queen Elizabeth wrotes him a check.…

Hot Air Ballon


A woman in a hot-air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered heraltitude and spotted a man in a boat below.

She shouted to him, “Excuse me,can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feettabove sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

“She rolled her eyes and said, “You must be a …

Obama – Manliness Tax

Obama has proposed a “Manliness Tax“. Because it has been shown that stronger men have un-fair advantages over those that are less Manly.

President Obama stated, “It is unfair that some of the population has advantages that others do not. Because men that are more manly have un-fair advantages over the less manly in the population, we need to CHANGE the current way of thinking, and level the playing field for all males.” President Obama continues, “This un-fair advantage needs to be eliminated to help those that are less manly feel good about themselves and allow them to compete in …